Saturday, September 24, 2011

Hobbies - Photography

I've been seriously slacking on all my hobbies. Being a housewife my job entails keeping my house livable. This should be easy as I'm here all day long, but with Twitter and Facebook calling my name all day I seem to lose track of time quite easily.

In college one of my favorite hobbies was taking pictures. I still love to take pictures, but it seems like the desert has been lacking inspiration for me. I used to take so many pictures that it was necessary to have a pro account on Flickr. After two years here, my pro account has lapsed, and I still haven't figured out how to use my new camera (from last Christmas).

I'm getting there though. Here are some recent-ish photos I've taken. Enjoy!

Iridescent Orchid

Iris - Pike's Place Market Seattle

Peony - Pike's Place Market Seattle

Veggies Prepped for Stirfry

Crochet Sweater I made June 2011

Sparklers July 4th, 2011


Scheherazade posing on her tower - August 2011

Catnip Flowering - August 2011

Angry Squirrel - September 2011

Praying Mantis - September 2011


Friday, September 23, 2011

Defining Success

What is success? The more I talk with friends and family about what success is to them, the more I realize everyone has a different answer. To some it's making a name for themselves and having a great career. Others desire families. It's not just get a job, buy a house, have a family. The dream is different for everyone.

After graduating college I job hopped. In the process I learned a lot about myself.

Such as:

  • I have trouble with corporations, and I don't want to work for mega-conglomerates. 
  • I disagree with nepotism and believe that position should be derived from merit and skill rather than "who you know". 
  • I like autonomy. 
  • I need to feel like a valued part of a team where my skills and knowledge are desired and appreciated. 
  • My health does impact my ability to work and that being healthy 90% of the time is great for me, not so much for employers. You can't tell an employer that you'll likely be sick 25 days a year. All the more reason to carve my own path.
After a year of working part-time at a job that I loved the job with a boss I hated, I quit. My husband indulged me. He's indulging my desires to stay home and do my own thing. As soon as I figure out what my 'thing' is the better. 

Success for me comes in the small gains. Seeing how happy my husband is when I unexpectedly make his lunch. Lowering my weekly grocery bill to $65-$80. Writing for bitchbuzz.com. All of these things make me feel successful. To some it would seem boring and hardly a success, but I know life is short enough that you have to enjoy each little gain.

While I have moments where I am incredibly lonely cooped up in my apartment, I am genuinely happy and feel like I'm on the path to my own personal success. I'm writing again, and I'm incredibly proud of my recipes. I hope to increase what I get to write about beyond just food. 

Opportunities await. 

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Jill of All Trades

I've always tried to be a Jill of all trades. I figured that I would be the most useful by knowing many skills. I'm pretty sure my fixation with being 'of use' stems from my reading The Cider House Rules by John Irving when I was in high school.

Homer, the title character is always trying to be 'of use' and uses that as much of his driving force in the novel. The major difference between Homer and I  is that he was an expert at a few things, and I'm not an expert at anything. (I am great at trivia so I know I'm super smart. lol)

I have a lot of skills, but I always seem to get just far enough so that I can muddle through projects. I never dive deeper. Perhaps it's my fear of failure that stops me, but I feel like it's getting in the way with being the most productive person I can be.

The biggest problem is that I just don't know what exactly I want to spend copious amounts of time doing. Do I want to become a better piano player? Absolutely, yes! But I have to work for it. I'd have to play my scales... I'd have to work rather than just have fun playing my pop tunes.

Do I want to become better at knitting and crochet? You betcha! But I need to get size 8 needles and don't have a coupon.

I'm just too good at making excuses for why I can't do something rather than just doing it.

Is it a lack of passion or motivation?

I've been so bored lately, but I know it's because I'm just not keeping myself busy enough. There are lots of things I could do but I don't want to. I don't even know what I want to do!

Will I ever?

All I know is that I have the love of a good man, a comfy home, good food, and really couldn't ask for anything else. That's enough for me for the moment. Sooner or later I'll find my calling... whatever it may be.

Friday, September 2, 2011

I don't want to grow up...

...But I'm pretty sure I did anyway.

I'm at this weird stage in my life where I still feel like I'm 21 and invincible, but at the same time I'm starting to feel old. Not like elderly old. Just older.

I know I'm only 25, but I'm now starting to look back at my college years and they're beginning to feel light years away. So much changes so quickly. My husband and I are both having health problems where it used to just be me. We're worrying about things like cholesterol and antioxidants which makes it hard to focus on fun things. Which brings me to my next point:

I think I'm turning into a hermit. What was fun three years ago just isn't as fun now.  I just love being home. The food is awesome and cheap, the entertainment is always exactly what I want to watch, and the only person I have to deal with is the man I signed up to deal with crap with.

When we do go out, especially if there are loads of people, I just feel overwhelmed. Where we live doesn't help either. There are few entertaining things actually in the area. Most things are either in Spokane or Seattle which is a 3+ hour drive either way. Once you factor in fuel and food, a trip to either becomes a mini vacation in cost. When you're two people living on one income, you have to get creative with what defines your entertainment.

Streaming Netflix is a god send. As I type I am watching part 3 of the BBC Daniel Deronda with Hugh Dancy. Would I have ever rented this? Probably not, but it's there and I'm watching it and I'm happy. For only $8 a month, it's totally worth it.

We've also found a love for board/video games. It turns out that I'm really good at Uno and Battle of the Sexes. I've also discovered that some video games cause me to have anxiety issues so I need to avoid them. Anything where I have to sneak up and kill something is a problem.

It's like hide and seek all over again  - I'm hiding, the person is right there, and I feel I'm about to pee myself. Killing things guns blazing, however, is not a problem.

I'm off to find new ideas to keep me busy at the casa.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Personal Epiphany: I'm a curmudgeon.

There's another facebook game going on about breast cancer. This time you take your shoe size and add inches and then the amount of time it takes you to do your hair in the morning. So you end up with something like 6 inches and 30 minutes. This is to make people think something sexy.

In the name of breast cancer awareness.

What really pisses me off is that no one is mentioning breasts or breast cancer. I fail to see how it promotes breast cancer awareness by saying something stupid to keep men guessing. Wouldn't it make more sense to post in your status:

" It's breast cancer awareness month; take a moment to get to know your breasts or talk to cancer survivors. Get a mammogram and learn more on how to be proactive about your health!"

So I posted on my facebook how I thought it was stupid. Then a few moments later the person who sent me the silly message of breast cancer awareness posted that it's all fun and games to promote awareness.

Well, my mother-in-law died from breast cancer. If you don't know this already, cancer is not funny. It's scary, depressing and watching someone die from is still the hardest thing I've ever done.

I've over playing games. I hate those little pink ribbons pretending like they're helping. We need to teach women to examine their breasts and be honest with themselves and their doctors.

Show some self love and grab a handful. Knowing your breasts could save your life.

So fine, I'm a curmudgeon.