You're killing me, smalls!

Hi, readers. I have some exciting news! I've been trying to keep my mouth shut, but I just can't any longer.

I'm 6 weeks pregnant today!

I was hoping to hold out mentioning anything until 12 weeks or we heard a heart beat after past experiences, but when you're excited it's nice to share good news.

Oh, and I'm dying of morning sickness and I don't think I can hide it anymore.

Add a bathrobe and a layer of sweat and it's pretty close to what I look like.

As a food blogger/general lover of food I'm pretty miserable. At the moment food is both my best friend and my mortal enemy, which I'm finding a hard line to walk.

I have to keep eating every 3 hours. Somewhat like the movie Speed, if my blood sugar drops to a certain level I explode in a storm of upchucking that would make even the skinniest model both nervous and proud. At one point in time I was worried I ruptured a blood vessel near my eyebrow as every time I'd have a bout of morning sickness it felt like my skull was trying to find a way through my skin and escape my body entirely. I don't blame it for trying.

Once this ick sets in, I know I need to eat something.
But once the ick sets in, nothing sounds good. Even things that sound good, once you're faced with them become intolerable. I have a few constant friends so far, bagels and cheerios. Two things that once eaten will keep me in a reasonably good mood for at least 3 hours.

One day baby carrots were my savior, last night they were my downfall.

I wake up every morning and tell myself that the awful sickness I feel is in fact a comforting reassurance that I'm still pregnant. I tell myself when I wake up in the middle of the night that I'm baking a damn good bun, and that I'll hopefully feel better in 6 weeks or so. I'm also secretly hoping my blood work will come back saying I'm farther along than I really am and that the end of morning sickness is near. A girl can wish.

Then I ponder all the women before me who've made it through this before or who have had it worse. I think of their strength and try to use it to bolster my own. I think of the women who so desperately wish they could feel morning sickness but have to fight just to get pregnant. I think of their strength and keep fighting for them, not wasting the gift I've been given.

Despite what anyone might tell you, getting pregnant is not easy*. Being pregnant isn't easy either.

* It seems like if you're trying it's not easy, but once you stop trying you get knocked up. That's been my experience anyway. It's pretty much a crap shoot.